Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy in Newport Beach

What is Marriage Counseling

In therapy, you will begin facing the big issues standing in the way of your relationship. We will help you and your partner develop  the kind of connection, love, and communication you have both been wanting. With our expert marriage therapists, you will begin tackling the big issues, challenges, and dynamics between you. Although the content of couples contentions vary, in our experience, relationship issues consistently boil down to three themes: power, trust, and recognition. We want to help you finally face these issues and transform your relationship. The success rates for couples who enter counseling are incredibly high, you can have hope that things can be different and we will help you get there. Successful marriage therapy is about learning new tools, skills, and insights both about yourself and the other person. People often come in to change their relationship and in the process often end up changing their own lives for the better too. We use an imago understanding of relationships, this is key.  It’s based on the idea that our unconscious mind seeks out romantic partners who reflect the positive and negative traits of our early caregivers. The goal of therapy is to help couples understand these deep-rooted patterns and transform conflict into healing and connection.

Key Concepts of Imago Approach

1. The Imago

   • “Imago” is Latin for “image.” In this context, it refers to the subconscious image we form of love and relationships based on childhood experiences.
   • We unconsciously seek partners who resemble (both positively and negatively) our early caregivers, hoping to heal old wounds through them.

2. Unconscious Relationship Patterns

   • Many relationship struggles come from unmet childhood needs that we project onto our partner.
   • This often leads to power struggles, where each partner is unknowingly trying to get the other to “fix” something from their past.

3. The Imago Dialogue (A Core Practice)

   • This structured communication technique helps couples deeply listen to and validate each other.
   • It consists of three steps:
     • Mirroring: One partner shares their thoughts and feelings, while the other simply repeats back what they heard without adding their interpretation.
     • Validation: The listener acknowledges the speaker’s perspective as valid, even if they don’t agree.
     • Empathy: The listener expresses understanding of their partner’s feelings and experiences.

4. Healing Childhood Wounds Through Conscious Love

   • Instead of reacting based on old patterns, partners learn to respond with intention and offer the love and support that their partner needs for healing.

5. Shifting from Unconscious to Conscious Relationship

   • Couples learn that love is a choice, not just a feeling.
   • By recognizing triggers and practicing intentional behaviors, partners can nurture a healthier, more connected relationship.

How This Helps Couples

• Reduces reactive conflicts by fostering deeper understanding.
• Encourages empathy and compassion in the relationship.
• Helps couples become aware of their unconscious expectations and communicate more effectively.
• Strengthens emotional intimacy and connection.

Types of Marriage Therapy

We rely on a combination of Psychodynamic Therapy, Imago Therapy, Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) and the principles of the Gottman Method, a proven approach to couples therapy. In terms of the structure of our treatment, we meet once a week for 50 minutes. We also regularly encourage between session work and provide unique “homework” assignments for couples to address.  For those without a willing partner, we want to help you too. We can help you to better navigate the challenges in your relationship. When you make changes, your partner is forced to respond in healthier ways too. Often times, partners become more willing to start therapy when their significant other begins the work. Give us a call and we can help you figure out what approach might work best for your situation.

Please check out of recent post on Why We Become Symptomatic in Relationships to learn more about the underpinnings of our psychologies in the context of relationships. This can give you some more insight into how we think about couples and approach our work in therapy. 

How to know when you need marriage counseling

You and your partner have become indifferent towards each other

Lies and secrets permeate the relationship

Your relationship lacks intimacy 

You view one another as the antagonist 

Issues of infidelity 

You keep having the same arguments over and over again 

Dishonesty in all its forms

Trouble expressing yourself emotionally

Sex life is struggling or non-existent

Find yourselves living separate lives (often sleeping separately too)

General disinterest in each other or each others lives 

Communication is offline, volatile, or consistently negative

How to Get Started

The best way to get started is simply to reach out. Psychologists who specialize in relationship issues are particularly skilled at helping people to come up with a game plan. We spend time with you on the initial call to begin understanding the key issues at hand and develop an approach to starting therapy that works for you and your unique situation. Give us a call or text anytime at 714-334-5497. You can also reach out to our couples specialist Whitney Fielder, LMFT directly at 949-677-6142 with any questions or to schedule a first session.